Is it proper etiquette for the step mom to go with daughter and mother to help pick out dress? My other daughter got married about two years ago and the step mom did all the decorating and such. Even with a wedding planner involved. She wasalso  planning to light the mother's candle with myself but at last minute left me standing deciding against it. I felt very hurt, more like an invited quest (that helped pay my part), but said nothing. She has two girls of her own. I would feel uncomfortable stepping in her place at such a time but I am unsure if that I may be out of line here. In all honesty I feel her involvement is a bit too much, however she knows I will not say anything to her.